I’ve lived in a lot of places, and traveled around the world. I used to routinely wake up at dawn, forgetting where I was.
Now, I wake up reaching for my little baby, who’s not so little anymore.
This photo was taken when Dashiell was 6 days old. SIX! I have never known a baby who was so “awake.” And I don’t mean his sleeping problems–although of course that is related…
The main tenant of Buddhism is “to awaken.” In my 20s I did a lot of inner work practicing the arts of meditation and being present. When I finally got pregnant at age 39, I rekindled my practice, because I didn’t want to “miss” any aspect of that process of creating a new life. It’s also why I was determined to labor and give birth without anything between me and the experience. I can remember almost everything from those 24 hours, but what I cherish the most is the memory of holding a brand new Dashiell on my chest, minutes after his birth, him chattering away (“uh huh, uh huh, uh huh”). His eyes, looking up at me, taking it all in, were just like they are today, sparkling, amazed, and incredibly “here.”
Happy “birthday” to my Little Buddha.